With or Without Him
by kurdt
Summary: She's never going to see him again...spoilers for AoS. 10th Doc.


**Disclaimer:** Doctor Who belongs to the BBC.

**Summary:** She's never going to see him again...  
**A/N: **This is just a wee fic a wrote after watching tonights episode. It's sort of a missing scene/ post ep type thing. Any mistakes are mine.

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**With or Without Him**

She sits there, on the floor, next to the Doctor's neatly folded pin strip suit and brown jacket, the tears still flowing down her cheeks. He's busy fiddling with the controls and they are well on their way back to their own universe.

Just the two of them.

And no Mickey.

It suddenly hits her that she's never going to see him again, and even though she was a little reluctant for him to come with them to begin with, this is a little different from Mickey being back at home in the Powell Estate waiting for her to return to him in the TARDIS.

"Did you mean it? We can never go back?" She just wants to make sure.

He looks up from what he's doing and stares at her intensely for what seems like forever.

"Yes. We can never go back." The lack of eye contact doesn't go unnoticed, and she knows it not because he feels guilty for leaving Mickey behind. It was Mickey's decision after all, his life. But she can't help but feel angry and she doesn't know if it's towards the Doctor for letting him stay or towards Mickey for wanting to.

"Rose-"

"I wanna go home," she interrupts. He looks startled for a moment and finally looks at her, his eyes questioning her motive. "I just wanna see my Mum. Make sure she's okay," she says quickly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

He nods silently, his mouth forming an 'o' shape before he starts fiddling with switches and levers again.

"It'll be awhile," he says softly, "I still have to fix the crack in time."

She stands up and she just can't bring herself to look at him. All she wants is to be alone at the moment, so she goes to her room.

She catches herself in the mirror, her mascara's running because of all the tears and she's still wearing the servant uniform from her mum's, _Jackie's, _party. She can feel herself wanting to cry again…

But she wasn't her mum. And he wasn't her dad, no matter how much she wanted them to be.

Her dad's, _Pete's_, reaction when she told him the truth hurt so much, the look on his face and they way he said "don't" was just too much for her.

But what did she expect? _A fairytale ending?_

No. She doesn't know what she expected, she just wasn't expecting that. All she knows is that she just wants her mum and dad back. But she's never going to have her dad back. Never.

But she's still got her mum. And she has to keep telling herself that. Has to keep reminding herself that it wasn't _her_ mum that was 'upgraded'.

After she's changed back into her own clothes, she curls up on her bed, hugging her favourite pillow and she can't remember how long it took her to fall asleep.

Her dreams are filled with zeppelins and a metal, robotic army. Her and the Doctor running for their lives. Her dad and Mickey, gone forever.

She's woken up by the slight jolt of the TARDIS as it prepares to land and she runs to the control room, finding the Doctor. His tuxedo gone, replaced with his usual pin strip suite and brown jacket. He's smiling slightly, for her benefit. But she doesn't return it and rushes to the door. She is somewhat surprised that the TARDIS is in her mum's living room and not in its usual spot down the street.

Her mum comes from the kitchen, smiling brightly.

"You're alive." She says, as if she can't quite believe it. "Oh, mum, you're alive." Rose hugs her are so tightly, fearful that she'll just suddenly disappear.

"Well, I was the last time I looked," her mum says, returning the embrace and looking slightly confused. "What happened sweetheart? What's wrong? Where did you go?" She looks questioningly at the Doctor, who leans against the TARDIS door.

"Far away," he replies. Then contemplates it further, "that was far away."

"Where's Mickey?"

"He's gone home," the Doctor says sadly.

Rose cries in her mother's arms, partly out of relief that she's okay, and partly because she's sad that Mickey's gone. She knows she's selfish because she wanted him to stay - in case she needed him. But she doesn't. And she won't. And besides, Mickey was right. She's got the Doctor.

And she knows that she's going to be okay. With or without Mickey.


End file.
